remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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