fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Please don't give away my fajitas
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
