i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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