My pussy is not your playground.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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