i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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