kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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