White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
