You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
In America we eat man semen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
