Who wears a wallet chain?!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
not ubering you a puppy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
