She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
