Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize