Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
