I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
