Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
