Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am available for nakedness
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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