Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
