I have demons in me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
