Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
