he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
