you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
