I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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