who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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