Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
