Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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