I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
