We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
