Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
