I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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