I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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