Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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