I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
ok first of all what the fuck
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
