I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
