I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
