We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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