The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My vagina just clenched in fear
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
