Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
