the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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