Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(925): View more from California

I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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(310): View more from California

Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

(310): View more from California

Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang

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(817): View more from Texas

But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.

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