So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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