drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize