period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
