Do vagina's smell?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
