Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
