My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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