eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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