I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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