My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
