I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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