Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
