i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
