im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
