the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
