I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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