Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
