Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
