Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
smell my finger.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
