dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize