Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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