She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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