sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he told me I talked like a deaf person
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
sex in a hospital.. check
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