Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
