But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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