Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
